SkyMall + booze = drunkMall

Probably the only reason I'm not crushed under a boulder of debt right now is that my traveling days came to an end just as in-flight WiFi became a thing.

Falling into the category of people who need to drink before getting on an airplane, giving me a copy of SkyMall and the ability to apply a credit card to outrageous purchases right then and there would have been much too great a temptation for me to resist.

Indeed, if you Google "craziest drunk online purchases" or some such similar query, you'll get a good laugh out of the things your fellow Americans decide they must own while in a drunken state: an entire pallet of Campbell's soup, bagpipes, 10,000 ladybugs - you name it. The true wonder here, though, is that: until now, inebriated e-shoppers had to seek out these products. Until now, there hasn't been a catalog site designed with the buzzed browser in mind, putting everything in on place.

Until drunkMall...


About a month ago, I had the idea for drunkMall.com and made it a reality. If anyone wants more details on the process, I wrote up part of the story on Thee Medea Complex' blog. Attracting over 10,000 visitors in the first week, the site is becoming very popular, very quickly. It's been profiled on MansLife.com and received shoutouts from Ralphie May, Nikki Lipstick & Alison Freer.

New posts are added to the site daily. You should definitely check it out for yourself (and share it with your friends!) but I'll list my ten current favorite items here to give you an idea of what drunkMall is all about:

Two Pounds of Pink Starburst

This is the one that started it all. Starburst are a cheat day regular for me and, while I can't say I have a favorite flavor, I definitely have a least favorite flavor, which is lemon. I don't remember how I came across the possibility of ordering one flavor of Starburst, individually, in bulk, but when I did, I wondered how this wasn't something more people knew they could do. The idea for drunkMall came pretty soon after.

Bottle-Hanging Refrigerator Magnets

Here's an example of something that's incredibly simple, innovative and useful all at once. Assuming there isn't also, like, a severed head on the middle shelf, this is a pretty great way to make your fridge seem more modern and less like a shitty fridge full of beer.

Serial Killers Card Game

And, speaking of severed heads, here's this disturbing card game. I won't pretend that it isn't a little creepy how much traffic this card game brings to the website. Also, in case you don't know, there is a whole community on Tumblr of people who are sexually attracted to mass murderers.

Boomboxes Made from Old Suitcases

The word "repurposed" usually annoys the shit out of me but I don't think anyone could deny the awesomeness of this company. The specs and wiring on all the audio gear is ace quality, too.

Patriotic Pajamas

This model looks like he owns the serial killer card game. I like living in America and everything but honestly the fabric is what makes these pajamas desirable to me. It looks so, so soft and comfortable. And there's a hood, which I always love.

Box Set of Legit '70s Punk

I get to try and sneak some culture in every now and then. The tracklist is surprisingly not full of bullshit and a lot of my favorite bands are features on this box set. It's difficult to work music into drunkMall but shows like Mr. Robot and Halt and Catch Fire are pushing vintage punk back into the public eye, so I felt I could get away with this one.

Miniature Pizza Backpack

This is far too small to be put to practical use in any facet of my life but I like knowing that it's out there, probably making some goofy kid feel way cooler than he is. That makes me smile.

Netflix and Chill condoms

Much like drunkMall, this is one of those things where you think, "How has nobody else done this yet?" But these just came out this week and, according to the creator, drunkMall was actually the first site to feature the product. Since these are now all over the internet, from Mashable on down, I guess that officially makes me a #tastemaker.

3-D Printed Sushi Sweater

This is just great. No explanation necessary. As a side note, I had no idea how much food print clothing there is out there. If this is your thing, drunkMall has a lot more of it and more on the way.

Orange Amps Miniature Combo

In my former life, I always wanted an orange amplifier, even though the only time I got to play through one during a show I blew it the fuck up. (In retrospect, they are really good at branding.) But I never got to own one and this device, though I'd almost never use it, would be close enough to satisfy that urge.

-TMC